Sunday, July 28, 2013

Tidak terlintas nak mengecewakan sesiapa pun. I tersepit. Both of you seems like don't want to understand me. Rasa nak terjun bangunan sepuluh tingkat. Hanya Allah j tahu perasaan I. Ntah lah, blur, stress semua ada. If I can be separated I want to do so but I can't. I need to choose. Finally I choose my brother sebab ntah lah. Gerak hati I suruh I buat camtu. So in the same time I dah kecewakan other side. Sorry, sorry and sorry. I bukan nak hampakan pelawaan mak awak. Tapi I dah terlajak keluar ngan abang, walhal I dah inform I kene tolong abang and memang I xde inform nak iftar sekali but as usual my brother kan, dia memang akan treat his sibby for iftar. And only that time j kami ada peluang jumpa sama-sama. Hope awak faham, tapi dari ayat yang awak hantar tu make me sad. Maaf I rasa I bukan in coming good in law sebab mesti mak awak kecewa ngan saya kan. After the things happen I rasa macam ntah lah. I need some times and space. I iftar at Ar-Raudah area uma abang I. He already booked the place to iftar. After iftar we rushing to Shah Alam to find veil for my sister in law in coming, so I layan j lah. I penat sangat but since I follow orang, I layankan j lah. Sampai umah anty around 1130 camtu. I whatsapp dia then he inform me that he got fever and it's quite high temperature and also got migraine. Dalam otak macam-macam fikir. Ok ke dia, teruk ke, macam mana bley demam panas and migraine and everything lah. But hajar kan seorang yang ego tahap gaban so I just reply makan ubat and get well soon. Susah nya nak buang rasa ego tu. Sebab tu salah satu punca kenapa selalu masam muka berlarutan. sebab nya I lah, ego and always keep silent. Diam seribu bahasa. Kenapa I ego? Semua nya sebab kawan-kawan lelaki yang I kenal sebelum ni. I try to make it down but ntah. Still trying lagi. I hope I boleh buang ego tu.

Bangun j tidur pagi tadi, I cari dia. Wish morning and tanya keadaan dia. I plan nak visit dia but tade transport lah. Haish susah nya lahai. Nak pinjam anty kereta, mesti anty x bagi. hhuurmm. Tape lah I just doa kan dia baik-baik saje lah. 

Ya Allah, kau sembuhkan lah demam dia and his migraine too.
Ammeen.

To Awak,
Take care of yourself
Don't forget your medicine
Please drink more water

walau apa pun jadi, in shaa allah 
saya sayang awak sampai bila-bila
saya dah lama maafkan awak

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